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My name is Kelly. I am 28 years old, and I recently moved to California. My entire life I have suffered with very bad social anxiety, rendering me from doing normal daily things in life which most others do. I come from a line of mental illness, and my mom - whom has an array of some of the worst, has disowned me and my sisters since we were young adults. I was kicked out at 16 years old, and haven't seen or heard from her since I was 18, despite my attempts. I have lost touch with all of my family, and have no support from them whatsoever.
It is extremely hard for me with my every day life, I feel mentally crippled with my social anxiety. Each day I tell myself "This is the day I will get help", but social anxiety, especially to the degree that I have, will keep you down for years and years. Having a disorder that puts you in panic when you encounter many social situations really slows things down for a person and makes it difficult to get out there and get help.
Anyway, I have two beautiful sons which right now live with their grandparents until I get better. They are my motivation to push forward, not so much for myself, but so I can be a good mom to them and not have them go through what I went through as a child. I cannot work because of my anxiety - I'd like to think of myself as a fairly smart woman, I know I am capable of handling a decent job and whatnot. The problem is, no one wants to hire someone who doesn't know if they can make it to work every day because they might get sick and have panic attacks, and shortness of breath, amongst many other things. I recieve a very small amount of money monthly in form of disability, it barely covers my rent and electric bill each month. I don't have any extra money for fun, or to go out to eat, or buy nice things, or even get new clothes and a lot of other necesities I need. I hope someday I can get some medications that will allow me to work and provide better without having any form of assistance.
I currently live in a small one bedroom apartment, which is kind of in the middle of no where. I don't live very close to stores, or the doctor, or the bus line. I have to walk every where I need to go, and that is really hard for me with my condition. I really need a new apartment closer not only to grocery stores, and bus lines, but also a more reasonable walking distance so I can make it to my appointments. Equally as important, being I live in a 1 bedroom apartment and have two sons - I will need another bedroom to get them back home with me. I want them back more than anything else in this world. But I cannot afford a security deposit for a new apartment. Once I have a two bedroom apartment, I will be much closer to the doctor for my appointments, and will have room to have my sons come back home to me. I miss them so much.
$500 is the total amount I need for a security deposit. I have found a few different rental units that I can afford, all of which have that same amount for the deposit. I have no way of coming up with that much money with what money I currently have, and have no one else who can help me out. Any donation, even small, would put me that much closer to my goal.
If you are able to help, I would be extremely grateful. It would not only help me get my life on track with my mental illness, but it will also put me closer to being able to find a job, and have my sons back in my home again. Thank you so much for your time.
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