trying to be happy.

I have been battling breast cancer. For 15 years now, within the 15 years i have had to mastectomies, cancer just wants to keep taking and give nothing back. then about a year ago, the cancer came back into my bones. So far, the doctors at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute in Boston Massachusetts have been given me treatments that have been preventing the cancer from getting any worse each treatment may last anywhere from one to three years. My first treatment I was receiving lasted only a year. Now, they give me a second treatment, they still continue to give me the first treatment, but added a second treatment. It seems to be working. I guess I have to take lots of medication. Just so I don't have to try and live with all the pain without the medication OxyContin and oxycodone, every bone in my body would ake although through most of the years. Up until about a year ago. We had very good health-insurance, because my husband had a very good job. Then when you think you're finally getting to the point somewhat, where you can accept what's going on in your life with the cancer my husband loses his job. He's been there for about 10 years. He was the Foreman, were both uneducated, but we've both worked all of our life. My husband landed a very good job and work very hard. Even when I was battling the cancer from the beginning and going through the mastectomy operations. He did everything he could to make sure that his job would not be in jeopardy. In any way, realizing now how much it cost for the treatments that I received that they, there insurance company was paying for all those years. Just one of my shots that I receive cost $5000 it is worth it if it keeps me alive. The second treatment I receive is intravenously $10,000. We never saw bills like this because we were always covered, haven't said all that. Then in September of 2008. My husband had a fall off a ladder at work. He didn't complain much, because he knew how important it was to maintain his job and did not want to cause any grief, although he mentioned it several times, because he was in a great deal of pain. But yet they refuse to take care of it for him. Then of all things in November of 2008. They laid him off temporary, they said three weeks. My husband waited patiently. Then him and I talked in December, and he decided to get an attorney. eventually. I think it was sometime in May of 2009 that the courts ordered the insurance company to pay for treatment on my husband's back and heels, although he was only collecting $500 a week from Worker's Compensation. It was better than nothing, but it certainly wasn't what he used to make. Not even close. Plus the fact that the insurance would run out. Needless to say it put him into a deep depression trying to figure out how we would get by with the living standards that we have acquired over the years with the income that he used to make. We now had to try and make lots of changes. I must say, this is very difficult to do. When the one you love is battling cancer. When my doctor told me I had 2 to 4 years to live a little over a year ago. That alone brought big changes into our life are son Kenneth he is 15 years old. We just didn't know what we were going to do. We started runing around looking for help, anywhere we possibly could, we went to a lot of different cancer societies. I don't know why, but we were not able to get any kind of financial assistance. We applied for Massachusetts State health-insurance. They said, we make too much money they don't count your standards the way you were living before, all of this started we became very disappointed and depressed eventually. We wound up receiving some health-insurance that doesn't kick in until January of 2010 mass health will cover are son 100%. Then I believe it's mass care, that will cover me at a cost of $122 a month, which isn't bad at all and that would be the same cost to cover my husband, which we cannot afford I collect Social Security. My Social Security pays for our rent. My husband's $500 a week pays the remaining of our bills. Somewhat between our car payment. Our utility bills. Our insurance my life insurance policies, which don't add up to a hill of beans. After all is said and done, and we managed to get prescriptions that I so desperately need. Even the co-pays aren't too bad now, because we will have that insurance. We used our son's bank account to get these medications in the beginning. We have to make lots of changes. We realized that we just can't do it alone. We need financial help, we thought that that's what cancer societies were for. Not just medical research and overhead. That's what it seems like to us. There is a program the ellis fund that has been sending us food cards that has been a big help. Unfortunately we have to try now and turn to strangers and see if they will help us out my treatments are scheduled every month and every three months. One of the treatments I received once a month. The other every three months. Unfortunately I had one of each treatments before this insurance is going to kick in my next appointments. Our insurance should cover the treatments, but I am still left owing Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. Over $15,000. I just want to live however many days weeks months years I have left happy with my family. I should not have to worry about things like this thinking about dying is a worry in itself. I would be much rather walking hand-in-hand with my husband and our son down a peaceful beach watching the waves come a sure, I know my husband's goals when he was working was to make so many dreams come true, that he possibly could, some I know he realizes and we realize would never come true. And that was okay with us. Like own  our own home. It is too late for that we except that, but the money used to make things possibly, we would take a vacation go somewhere we've never been one of my biggest dreams right now is making sure my son graduates from high school. And I am here to watch him graduate. He has been doing very well in school, and I believe this is one of his goals and he tries very hard not to stay back. There are times I wish we could afford a home tutor were to help him out with M casks tests because now that he is in high school. He needs to pass them all in order to graduate. He does stay after school every day for extra help. We used to keep are son very active in sports. This is also been taken away, because we cannot afford it and that is so sad, but I know somehow somewhere. Things will come together for us and we can start to live as a family once again. I pray and hope that that day is soon. We are also afraid because my husband's case is still in litigations. His Worker's Compensation check could stop at any time. This will bring more problems. He is unable to work. I certainly wouldn't hire him, and I say that in a nice way somebody at his age of 51, who was hurt at work, who was let go for no reason. Yes okay tell me another one. Because of my condition, because of his condition. You think we're also trying to reach out and get physical and emotional and spiritual support. If you were able to read all of this thank you Deb.