Still struggling!

It has been quite some time since I have had the opportunity to vist microgiving.  Nothing has improved since my last journal entry many months ago.  In fact, life for me has not looked any worse.
 I haven't been able to go online since I didn't have access to the internet.  The reason for this is because the friends I was able to stay with lost their house and was forced to relocate.  Once again I am homeless with no income which makes it very difficult to keep looking for a job.
I am having a real hard time realizing two years ago I was laid off and have been applying for employment faithfully with no luck.  Since my first job at 15 years old I have never had this tough of a time getting work.  When I moved to this town twenty years ago there was only three jobs posted in the want ads, I got one of those jobs.  The economy wasn't much different then as it is now.  So, I think something or someone is stopping me from getting ahead. 
Thoughts similar to the above are always going through my mind.  I can't push them back as I have been able to in the past.  They consume almost every thought.  Then a couple of days ago, this thought came to me from left field.  That thought was telling me the reason why I have not been able to land a job, even after several interviews and sending out countless resumes is due to my "family" talking smack about me. This thought is one I definetely don't want to dwell over and put it out of my head as fast as it entered.
See, my "family" chose to believe other lies having to do with a situation I had been involved with.  That was over five years ago and that is when they pretty much decided I no longer exsist and have chose not to contact me.  My mom and step-father (I worked for him 6 yrs as office manager ) know a lot of people in this small town.  I wouldn't put it past my mother to do something like this, making it real hard getting a job.  

to be continued . . . . . .