the lack of hope on a spring day.

so let's see......i'm sitting here....pissed off and disgusted with life, men, and just....what i'm continually on a cycle of going thru. i swear my friend Tara was so right when she said...her days to be shit on by others was monday. That and wednesdays. so much for wed being my lucky days. usually people dump me or leave my life in groups. a few guys or friends at a time. today it's a couple diff ones. one that pulled the same crap last time.....another that jus didnt' think things thru because he is selfish and uses others and doesnt know what he wants. i don't have intimate relations with all these men. just talking sometimes, some i've dated, some...i've never even met face to face. i dunno what i'd have to do to meet a guy like Asim. His move of giving the very shoes off his feet.....*sigh* changed me. i know what it's like to stay in battered womens shelters....sleeping with all your posessions tucked close around you in case someone tries to take them while you sleep. i've had so many bad experiences in life......i wonder when my quota for shitty things is used up. i could use a break. a good one. i've put in many years of diff forms of work. i guess i really need some good people in my life right now. bad. if only god ever listened to me. still i have my sunshine and big lake outside. if only my beacon inside would lead someone home.

Introduction:My First Entry

My first post is a brief synopsys of who I am.
Keith Turner is a writer from the Eastern Shore of Maryland. He currently writes for JPBTV.com where he holds the position of Head Writer. You can also view his work on Itzyourzradio.com where he is writer and designer of
"Konversin' With The Kool One". His other talents include,but are not limited to.. webpage designing,writing weblogs, managing HipHop groups(The Eastown Assassinz),and optimizing the websites he create as The Executive Web Master.
For more information about Keith Turner A.K.A."The Kool One" visit him on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/kdturner or follow him on Twitter at username keitht7. He looks forward to hearing from all who are interested in his writing and those who may need his expertise.

Still Standing....

I thought by now that i would have given up but i have gathered my self in all aspects of life. I have still continued the job search and have managed to talk the landlord to hold off on my eviction, she has been kind enough to let us stay but there will be a time where she has to put the buisness part of her into effect. i have continued to attend school even though these worries have effected my grades, my girls don't have a clue as to what is going on and i would like to keep it that way. they do not need my worries to be theres, the job search has gotten to be a lot harder than what i thought it was going to be but i am still out there.

Alone & Scared...

I can't believe this... This repo notice completely blindsided me. I keep going around & around in my head- "If I lose my car, how will I get to work?" "If I can't get to work, I'll lose my job- then what?" I won't be able to get a new job when I have no way to get to it... And besides, I'm just making it now- if I have to take a pay cut, there's no way I'll be able to survive. I can't give up though- there has to be something I can do. I can apply for jobs, but even if I start ASAP, I only have 3 weeks to come up with this money... How can I possibly come up with over $2000 in 3 weeks??